


if my heart was a house (you'd be home)

by tamagotchitadashi



Series: Matsuhana Week 2017 [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Barista Matsukawa Issei, Depression, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Falling In Love, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Language of Flowers, M/M, Past Abuse, Supportive Friends Iwaoi, aka i project onto makki again, cinema dates, makki met iwaoi in college, makki went to karasuno, same with mattsun but i feel like he went to datekou, they either didnt play vball or didnt go to aoba josai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 15:23:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11626365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tamagotchitadashi/pseuds/tamagotchitadashi
Summary: Tokyo is so strikingly different from Miyagi.Throughout his days as a university student, Takahiro sees so many lights, so many tourists, so many interesting people and places and things that it just makes his old home seem even more dull. Even though it's been a couple of months since he settled in at uni again as a second year, this time, he is still reeling from the fact that he is out of Miyagi.aka makki meets a dorky barista and it gets pretty gay pretty fast





	if my heart was a house (you'd be home)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Matsuhana Week Day 4, prompt "Leaving Home".

Tokyo is so strikingly different from Miyagi.

Throughout his days as a university student, Takahiro sees so many lights, so many tourists, so many interesting people and places and things that it just makes his old home seem even more dull. Even though it's been a couple of months since he settled in at uni again as a second year, this time, he is still reeling from the fact that he is out of Miyagi. The summer has been hell.

Of course, back then, he had volleyball. He had Karasuno, sure, and had things he loved - that little bakery a few blocks from his house that sold just the best cream puffs, his beautiful sister, Sakura, the cute boys (their names were Yahaba and Kyoutani) from Aoba Jousai that worked in the library, who were entertaining even when they were arguing and he was a victim to second hand sexual tension. He had the volleyball team and the baking club and the dude in his class who gave him a Love Live! keychain for free that one time.

But there are bad things back in Miyagi, too, that outweigh the parts that he loves so dearly. Bad things like parents that try their best to control his life and who search his drawers and hit him when they find things that aren't school related in his search history.

People had asked him why he was so desperate to leave. He had answered with a shrug, but his mind itched to ask them "Have you heard of a dog who liked a leash? A prisoner who enjoyed being in chains?".

It's okay. He's away from that now.

He steps into the cafe he's meant to be meeting his best friend and partner for this infernal class project, Oikawa, in. Like usual, he's in the window seat with his surrogate child - his laptop. This time, however, there's a guy there, in the mint apron that shows that he works here, but he isn't serving. He's leaning against the table, chatting away to his friend. Are they flirting?

He fuckin' hopes not. Iwaizumi and Oikawa are a match made in heaven.

"Hey," Takahiro says, sliding into the seat opposite his friend. He spares a glance to the barista. He's fairly hot - Tall, with short, dark, curly hair, thick ass eyebrows, piercings, and a pair of glasses. Takahiro is debating whether the glasses are real or clear lens. "Who's your friend?"

"Makki, this is Mattsun," Oikawa smiles, and it's a fake ass smile, but this version of his famous fake smile comes with a devious flint in his eye that can only mean that he's up to something. Fuck. "He works here, and he goes to our university, too. Mattsun, this is Makki-chan. He's my lab partner and he's totally available by the way."

Oikawa laughs. Takahiro puts his head in his hands. This is the second time since they've known one another that he's tried to set him up on date.

"Matsukawa Issei. Don't care what you call me, but please note that Mattsun is not my actual name. Your hair is cool," Matsukawa holds out a hand to shake, and Takahiro does.

"Hanamaki Takahiro. Thanks. Are your glasses real?"

"Have some tact!" Oikawa stage whispers. Takahiro sticks a tongue out at him.

"Yeah. I'm not a hipster, I don't have the energy for that shit," Matsukawa grins, and it's kind of hot. He is kind of hot. At least Oikawa doesn't have shit taste. Some angry kid starts yelling for him, and the barista hollers back, "Shut your whiny trap, Shirabu! I'm comin'! Ay, uh, Oikawa. Give him my number, my break's almost over. Both of you have fun with your project thing or whatever."

And then tall, dark and handsome walks off and Takahiro is left weak and defenceless and so fucking gay.

"Give me his number right fucking now," Takahiro turns to Oikawa, voice and face deadpan because he's dead on the inside and, Christ, he want to get in that guy's pants so bad that it's almost causing him physical pain. How is anybody allowed to be that gorgeous?

Oikawa smiles, smug and with an air of prestige, because the cunt thinks he's better than everyone because he might've scored his friend a boy, but Takahiro has been on the receiving end of calls about conspiracy theories at two in the morning to take Oikawa's massive ego seriously.

("Makki-chan! Iwa-chan told me to stop bothering him but I knew you'd pick up! Did you know that the earth might actually be flat all along and that the reptiles in the government planted the round earth lie to distract humanity from the fact they're building a nuclear bomb to blow up Pluto?")

"I'll give it to you once we finish the project. Come here, Makki. I need to explain half of this stuff to you, anyway."

x

hanamaki: so i asked about ur glasses but what about them eyebrows? they real?

matsukawa: as real as your lack of them.

hanamaki: fuck you

matsukawa: yes please, hanamaki-kun ;)

x

The next time Takahiro sees Matsukawa in person is over a week later, even after trying to subtly stalk his workplace. But he was either served by one of two first years at the university - Ennoshita, a sleep-deprived film student who went to his high school, or Shirabu, a literal sour patch kid who went to Shiratorizawa - they played against him at some point, and he and Ennoshita were captains at the same time - and has just the worst fringe that he's ever seen.

It's a coincidence, really, or perhaps an extremely obviously planned matchmaking situation plotted by none other than Oikawa himself, but this time he'd roped Iwaizumi in, however unwilling he is to participate in forcing his friend's love life. Takahiro and Matsukawa end up going to the movies to see some bad horror film, and their friends have conveniently both bailed on them.

"So, how much are you betting they planned this?" Takahiro asks with a sigh when they meet outside the cinema. They walk inside, and he immediately scans the menu. Fucking Oreos and M&Ms on popcorn? What sort of psychopath runs this place?

"Iwaizumi hates horror unless it's got some stupid giant monster, and Oikawa'd be moanin' about the special effects. It's gotta be a ploy, yeah," Matsukawa answers, smiling this super tiny smile and pulling out his wallet. "I'll pay for your ticket."

"Nah, it's okay, dude. I can pay," Takahiro brushes it off, because even though they've texted non stop for the past week and a half, he's met this guy twice and this shit is expensive.

"No, no. It's okay."

Christ, this guy is nice. And Takahiro can't say no to anything that's free for too long.

"You sure?"

"I'm sure," Matsukawa reassures him, requesting two tickets and a box of salted popcorn with pretzels and fucking Oreos on top from the cute, sleepy-looking red-haired girl at the cash register. Okay, maybe he's not so nice. What the fuck.

While in shock, staring at the monstrosity of a refreshment, he orders a drink and a large bag of sweet popcorn, and pays for them.

Maybe the pretzels on their own would be okay. But fucking Oreos. His new friend is suddenly a lot less gorgeous and perfect in every way.

They take their tickets and start walking to the screen.

"What?" Matsukawa asks, tilting his head to the side a little, when Takahiro has stared at him in disgust for a little too long.

"Fucking Oreos. On popcorn," He absolutely seethes, once they've had their tickets ripped and are walking away from the worker who did so, so he's not kicked out for swearing or whatever.

Does that happen?

He's so stupidly angry over this that Matsukawa begins to laugh, covering his smile as he chuckles uncontrollably over his angry, pink-haired friend.

"What? It's not that bad." Matsukawa tries to defend himself and makes this situation even worse, and continues to set things against himself as he fishes out an Oreo and starts waving it in Takahiro's face like the absolute madman he is, "Here, try one. Try one with the popcorn."

"I want a divorce." is the response he gets, and Takahiro shields his face from the offending biscuit. Both of them have to stop when they need to combine efforts to push open the insanely heavy doors that lead inside. They find their seats and continue fooling around.

"But I ain't even proposed yet," Matsukawa whines, popping the Oreo in his own mouth and sticking out his gross biscuit-and-filling tainted tongue at his disgusted friend.

In response, Takahiro steals a pretzel.

x

When Takahiro learns the times that Matsukawa is on shift and on break, he frequents the cafe even more, sitting at whichever table is closest to the counter and taking his laptop or whatever homework he has with him so he has something to do for the hour or so that he's there when his friend is off break.

This happens for about a month or so, until slowly but surely, he begins to fall.

The goddamn (intelligent, witty, gorgeous, funny, endearing) dude had full speed Naruto-ran into his heart, and it's kind of ridiculous how smitten Takahiro is.

They text constantly and hang our all the time, not just at the coffee house. Sometimes just the two of them, sometimes with Iwaizumi and Oikawa or other friends. He has a playlist of music that Matsukawa recommended to him and it's labelled with a heart.

Once he realises his feelings, he's not exactly filled with ideas at what to do about it. So, naturally, he asks Oikawa. He was the one who'd tried to set them up in the first place. Takahiro had never considered the idea that their friends' shitty matchmaking would've worked out and that he would end up with a big, fat, humiliating crush.

makki☆彡: toorukun im fuckig gay

oink: a hello would be nice, makkiiii :(

makki☆彡: hello. anyways im fucking gay

oink: im assuming there's a story???? ♪

makki☆彡: uhhhh yeah i hav a crush on matsukawa "oreos on popcorn is a gift from god" issei and ts ur fault so you gotta fuckin help me

oink: this is great!

makki☆彡: NO.  
makki☆彡: IT IS NOT GREAT.   
makki☆彡: I AM SUFFERING.

oink: oh jeez   
oink: how can i help?

makki☆彡: make him like me????

oink: you wanna heighten ur sex appeal makki~~~ so naughty~~~

makki☆彡: oikawa this isn't fuckkn wicked i need you to be my wingman or something. i have never dealt with a proper relationship I have issues

oink: how do you know he doesn't like you already?

makki☆彡: tooru i ain't blind like u and matsu (haha glasses joke, get rekt) i can see very well that im uhhhhhhh unlikeable, a fuckin Ugly and in no way capabale to win that boi

oink: makki ur cute as fuck okay!!! you're totally likeable!!! in fact mattsun totally likes you so!!!

makki☆彡: ok sounds fake but ok

oink: whatever u say sweaty  
oink: gtg iwachan's made curryyy （＾Ｏ＾）ttyl!!!!

x

He tosses and runs over and over but can never find a comfortable position.

He can't sleep. He goes over Oikawa's words and feels even more of that dank sadness. Oh boy.

"Mattsun totally likes you."

What is he on? He'd love to get his hands on it so he too could see that alternative dimension wherein Matsukawa totally wants to fuck his brains out.

He groans extra loudly into his pillow and tries so hard to sleep.

This is only the third or fourth time that he's had trouble sleeping since he left Miyagi.

x

He's been purposely avoiding meeting Matsukawa in person the past few days. He can pretend he's okay over text, but not in reality.

He's in a slump. He's not moved from his bed for almost two days other than to fill his bedside cabinet up with water bottles and get a packet of crisps. He doesn't think he's going to move from his spot for too long until he's forced to. His roommate, Komi, has awkwardly checked up on him a couple of times, but they aren't close at all and the dude actually has some sort of social life (his friends are mostly frat boys if that says anything), because he's constantly away from the dorm room.

His phone blows up with notifications. He turns it off. Tries to focus his attention on the re run of something or other playing on the television but he's too out of it to focus properly on anything.

A hard rhythm is knocked on his door. It's Iwaizumi and Oikawa, he can tell. It sounds exactly like how Iwaizumi usually knocks. It's around the time that Komi usually leaves for whatever the heck he does, he doesn't like to pry, so his roommate answers the door and lets them in.

Quickly, Takahiro hides under his duvet. He wonders if it's the big lump under the blankets or the rustling of the crisp packet under there with him that gives him away. In one extraordinarily swift movement, Iwaizumi pulls the duvet off, revealing their friend and the bad state he is in.

"Oh, Makki," Oikawa says, voice filled with so much emotion, but predominately such pity that it makes Takahiro's stomach fill up with dread or something like that. He's not sure what sort of emotion he's feeling and, honestly, he couldn't really care less. There are crisps everywhere and he has to clean this shit up, goddamn it. "How did you let yourself get to this state?"

Oikawa doesn't mean it to be mean. He can relate to his pink haired friend about things like this, and he's ended up worse than this in the past. They're depression buddies for life.

Takahiro sits himself on the edge of the bed, and frowns down at the floor like a (normal, not abusive) disappointed parent would to their child, as his two friends care for him so insistently, Oikawa rooting through his drawers while Iwaizumi sits next to him on the bed. He can feel the tears. Goddamn it, he's so fucking pathetic.

"I wish I didn't love him," He speaks after a moment, trying to recollect himself. "It's so fucking stupid that I'm this messed up over some boy I have a crush on."

"Please, believe us, Makki. He loves you, too," Iwaizumi says, rubbing circles in his friend's back as he hunches over. "But let's forget about all that for tonight, yeah? We can pick a DVD later and cook up something nice. Do you think you can shower?"

Takahiro nods, pushing himself up and wobbling slightly as he walks, catching a pair of short, faded pyjamas from some drawer that Oikawa throws at him. He walks to the bathroom, exhales, and takes a good look at himself in the mirror after he's stripped down. He tries to think so good things. 

He'll be okay. He'll be okay. This isn't like Miyagi. He's allowed to love. No one will hurt him for being soft. He is allowed to be soft here.

Here, there are no parents who tie their puppet strings around his arms and legs far too tight, no bruises on his wrists and behind the knees that he had to explain as extra practice, even when it was preposterous that the spot behind the knee on both of his legs would be screaming that they were sore in shades of purple and yellow from practicing receives. He doesn't think that anybody ever believed that.

Whatever. He steps into the shower and runs the water. It washes the weight off his shoulders almost immediately.

He'll be okay.

x

He meets Matsukawa the day after, on a park bench with a bouquet of assorted flowers: daffodils, white tulips, and pink carnations.

Even though he'd Google searched it before going to the flower shops to buy the flowers, the very friendly person at the counter - Watari - was well versed in the language of flowers and helped him to truly convey what he wants to say.

Matsukawa's facial expression is unusually serious, but there is relief, in there somewhere, probably because he's glad his friend isn't fucking dead or whatever. He seems to be holding himself back from asking the millions of questions on his mind. He waits, for a quiet moment, standing and staring at Takahiro on the bench, before sitting down beside him.

"Hey," Takahiro says, eyes glancing around because he really doesn't want this guy to hate him.

"Hey," Guy in question responds, "I'm super fucking glad you're alive, you know. What happened?"

"When I get major bouts of depression and all that, I kind of disappear off the face of the earth. I'm sorry. I should've contacted you."

Matsukawa takes the flowers and examines them carefully, a ghost of a smile on his face for a mere second. "Lots of apology in here. It's okay. If you get that bad again, though... please let me help in any way I can."

"I will," Takahiro promises. They hold hands. He doesn't say how ridiculously hot he finds it that Matsukawa knows flowers. It's kind of stupid, but he's probably so stupidly lovestruck that the guy could pick his nose and he'd swoon.

Kind of like girls with Oikawa. Or literally anyone with Iwaizumi.

"I don't think it's the best time for this, but... Can I ask you somethin'?" Matsukawa sounds almost... shy. Why would he sound shy? He should know that he could say anything and Takahiro would drop to his knees and praise him.

Takahiro doesn't say this. Instead he says, "Shoot."

"I think I love you," Matsukawa breathes, staring up into the greying sky. Is it going to rain? "Ain't that fuckin' stupid?"

"Oh, totally," Takahiro responds, he can't believe this is happening, and he finds himself putting a hand to Matsukawa's cheek and angling his face towards him. "And the stupidest part is that I think I might love you, too."

The pink-haired boy leans forward - fuck, it's been too long. He doesn't know what he's doing. - and is met halfway, soft lips touching his in a kiss that is too brief for his liking.

It lingers in a buzz on his lips, on his hand, in his heart, when they lose contact. The symphony of voices and people all around them dulls to a faint murmur and there is something that could possibly be love in both pairs of eyes, and Matsukawa - stupid, lovely, gorgeous Matsukawa - pulls him into a hug that's just so warm and comforting that maybe, he thinks, this is what they call... home. 

Takahiro will never get sick of hugs, and it is no surprise, to some, that he finds such solace in his new boyfriend's - he supposes - arms.

They are home.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! please leave kudos and a comment if you enjoyed - concrit is always welcome :)
> 
> come yell at me about matsuhana:  
> tumblr: semieitamatic  
> art blog: elluleart


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